[Not knowing what was happening, and whether or not her mother was safe and sound... Really, she was trying not to worry herself sick about it. And at least, she had succeeded whenever she was at the school and the kids. It was coming home and having nothing to distract her that made Monika worry once more.
She remembered the last time she'd been cut off from Chariot, and how awful it felt.
This... was becoming all too familiar for her.
It was the middle of the night and she couldn't quite fall back asleep. She turned her head, looking at a fast-asleep Natsuru. Without so much as a word, Monika grabbed her girlfriend's hand and gave it a tight squeeze.]
[The fae gave a soft, brief little moan at the touch of her hand. She didn't quite awaken, but she responded by curling in closer to Monika, and unconsciously gripping the hand in hers just as tightly.
Some of the worry Monika was feeling reflected on Natsuru's sleeping face, too. She felt it through their bond, a vague shadow mingling with her own less direct worries about what's been happening lately. Clinging to Monika's hand, even unconsciously, helped her feel grounded and safe. But it didn't calm the worries completely enough for perfectly restful sleep...]
[She'd tried to keep her worry contained. To put on a brave face for herself and everyone around her. But in the middle of the night, with nothing but herself and her thoughts... Monika began to sob and sniffle.
Again.
It was happening again.
Losing contact with Chariot, not knowing whether or not she was alright.
She couldn't help herself, and placed her arm around a sleeping Natsuru, bring her in closer and cuddling up against her.]
[She softly gasped, feeling herself wrapped up in Monika's arm and held closely. On a normal night, it wouldn't have disturbed her sleep, but she was already a little on edge. Her awakening wasn't sudden, at least... just a gradual realization of how closely her petite form was snuggled up to Monika... and how distressed she seemed.]
Monika...
[Her voice was barely a concerned whisper, as she settled into her girlfriend's embrace. Even only half-awake, she wanted so badly to be here for her. Always.]
[She spoke just as softly, holding on to Natsuru. Being with her like this did little to ease her worries, but she at the very least feel safe and comforted.]
[Honestly, the more she thinks about it, the more she takes comfort in Monika holding her close like this. Still, there are other people they care about... who aren't safe and comfortable in the arms of someone they love right now.]
I-... I'm sure they'll all come back fine, though.
[Another weak reply. She wants to believe that everything will turn out fine. In fact, she needs to believe it. Thinking too much about the alternative... Well, it just wouldn't be good for her, even if those thoughts were the loudest ones.
When Monika does speak, she just utters a few words.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
during the Dorchacht event
She remembered the last time she'd been cut off from Chariot, and how awful it felt.
This... was becoming all too familiar for her.
It was the middle of the night and she couldn't quite fall back asleep. She turned her head, looking at a fast-asleep Natsuru. Without so much as a word, Monika grabbed her girlfriend's hand and gave it a tight squeeze.]
no subject
Some of the worry Monika was feeling reflected on Natsuru's sleeping face, too. She felt it through their bond, a vague shadow mingling with her own less direct worries about what's been happening lately. Clinging to Monika's hand, even unconsciously, helped her feel grounded and safe. But it didn't calm the worries completely enough for perfectly restful sleep...]
no subject
Again.
It was happening again.
Losing contact with Chariot, not knowing whether or not she was alright.
She couldn't help herself, and placed her arm around a sleeping Natsuru, bring her in closer and cuddling up against her.]
no subject
[She softly gasped, feeling herself wrapped up in Monika's arm and held closely. On a normal night, it wouldn't have disturbed her sleep, but she was already a little on edge. Her awakening wasn't sudden, at least... just a gradual realization of how closely her petite form was snuggled up to Monika... and how distressed she seemed.]
Monika...
[Her voice was barely a concerned whisper, as she settled into her girlfriend's embrace. Even only half-awake, she wanted so badly to be here for her. Always.]
no subject
[She spoke just as softly, holding on to Natsuru. Being with her like this did little to ease her worries, but she at the very least feel safe and comforted.]
Please, just...
Let me stay like with this you for a bit.
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Were you crying...?
[She heard the soft sobs and sniffles. And it didn't feel right to simply ask if she was okay, after that.]
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I can't stop thinking about it.
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[Honestly, the more she thinks about it, the more she takes comfort in Monika holding her close like this. Still, there are other people they care about... who aren't safe and comfortable in the arms of someone they love right now.]
I-... I'm sure they'll all come back fine, though.
no subject
When Monika does speak, she just utters a few words.]
Please, stay with me, Natsuru.
Don't leave.