[She'd had some idea, of course... just like Monika knows Natsuru hadn't always been a girl. But knowing things had been different before they met is very different from seeing how things used to be. And this time had been much clearer than the vague feelings they've shared before through their Bond.
It wasn't like she'd imagined, exactly. She couldn't have imagined Monika so desperate she would have done things like the past her described. But she could also tell how much Monika hated seeing that again... how much it had hurt.]
You were lonely...
[That was what Natsuru saw most. She couldn't imagine being in the same kind of position.]
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It wasn't like she'd imagined, exactly. She couldn't have imagined Monika so desperate she would have done things like the past her described. But she could also tell how much Monika hated seeing that again... how much it had hurt.]
You were lonely...
[That was what Natsuru saw most. She couldn't imagine being in the same kind of position.]
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Knowing what that world was like. And how utterly empty it was...]
Mmm.
[Her voice was week as she nodded. Lonely only covered a part of how she felt, back there. Bitter, angry, jealous...
Sad.]
It's no excuse for what I did.
I just wanted something.
Anything that I could hold on to.
I...
[She wants nothing more than to hold her girlfriend's hand right now, but decides against it. Instead, her fingers begin to curl up into a fist.]
I'll understand, if this changes how you feel about me.
[She hopes it doesn't. She really does.
Monika loves her so much.
But at the same time...
Could she blame her?]